Bianca Jeanty
when grace meets spunk and ambition

Bianca Jeanty | Thoughts

5 Ways to Improve Your Whack-Ass Relationship Management Skills

3 Minute Read

So, I had a few tweets the other day about how social media has an interesting way of making us feel like we are still in touch with our peers. After having lunch in the park with one of the homies and celebrating the life of my late brother just two days before my own birthday, I had to really check myself on how I personally have stayed connected with my friends and family.

How many times have we opted to just look at someone’s Facebook and scroll through their timeline to “check on them?” You and I know best that typically we use social media to highlight our lives. Seldom will you see someone showcase the times that overdraft fee hit their account a few times from a weekend turnup or just overall feeling “stuck” in their lives. Some things to consider:

1.       Call instead of Text
I’m might be old school about this. But because there’s levels to this communication sh*t. Texting is cool but for serious conversations that require acute attention to detail, what’s communication without important things like sentiments, inflection, energy? You get more information about a message even how it’s being told to you. Face time isn’t limited to late night bae calls, girl.

2.       2 Coffee Dates A Week for a Month

Let’s do the math on this.

1 Coffee Date = 30 minutes
1 Starbucks Coffee = $4
2 CD’s x 2 Starbucks Coffees = $16 per week.

In those 30 minutes you can find out how a person is, what they’re working on, and how you can help.

So for the low cost of $64 a month, you can level up 8 different relationships through work, friends, family, bae. Sounds like a sleezy sales pitch but the numbers don’t lie. Try it.

                                                   Source: Giphy

                                                   Source: Giphy

3.       Show Up

It’s really that simple. Can you make everything? No. But if you say you’re going to go to something, don’t play out the other person and not show up. Even worse, don’t tell them last minute that you’re not going to be there when you knew all week you weren’t going to make it. Think about the time you had a function and 18 people gassed you into believing they’d be there for a major moment in your life but only 4 showed up.

4.       Share valuable information
When the day-to-day gets tricky, nothing doper than getting an article or alley-oop for an opportunity from someone you haven’t heard from in a bit.

“Hey Bee, I know we haven’t spoken in a while. Let’s change that! In the meantime, I came across the article and it reminded me of you. Let me know what you think. Are you free to chat next Thursday during lunch? Talk soon, lady.”

5.       Stop saying you’re too busy

Who isn’t busy these days? Everyone has 10 blog articles to create, a happy hour to attend, a photo shoot to slay, housewarming and birthday parties. Honestly, it’s tough. I’ve seen what it looks like to let the hustle recklessly impact relationships that matter. And I would justify it in my head so I don’t feel guilty for neglecting mom, dad, sister, brother, friend, etc. Let’s slow it down one time. The reality is that we make time for priorities. You’re never too busy for what’s important.

                  Source: Giphy

                  Source: Giphy


Everyone has their moments, but it’s not enough for us to take the easy way out to build powerful relationships. I’m not Iyanla, I can’t fix your life. But this is simply to remind you of what you can do and what you can prioritize.  We need each other.